5 habits you may not realize are creating conflict in your relationship. I often tell couples I work with to avoid playing the blame game. It tends to be pretty easy for many of us to list off the things our partner is doing wrong or to describe how they provoke us. However, few of… Read more »
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When protection of the state or political system takes precedence over the individual, the needs of most citizens are not served; instead they generally suffer economically, politically, and personally. Similarly, when the couple or family system takes precedence over its members, issues of human rights become a low priority. Both conditions set the stage for… Read more »
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As a therapist, I want to help survivors of dating violence, domestic violence, and abusive relationships recover their sense of safety and self-fulfillment in life. And I want to do more. I want more people to know how grave the damage is to survivors of abuse and sexual assault. I want to see more action… Read more »
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How common power dynamics destroy our closest relationships At a recent dinner party, I witnessed a group of friends teasingly ask one another who was in charge in their relationship. The question was meant to be playfully provocative, with most people laughing as everyone else at the table shouted, often in unison, who they perceived… Read more »
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I’m a big believer in relationships. I don’t often encounter couples for whom I think the outlook is hopeless. Granted, some relationships are bad for both parties. What attracts people to one another can be the very defenses that hold them back in life, for instance, the shy, indecisive person who chooses a loud, dominant… Read more »
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Fighting with a partner is one of those unpleasant parts of a relationship that we wish wouldn’t happen. But what if it was also life-threatening? A Brigham Young University study, tracing couples over two decades, found that more arguments correlated with poorer health and concluded that couples who don’t argue live longer. While a happy relationship… Read more »
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Love — kindness, affection, sensitive attunement, respect, companionship — is not only difficult to find, but is even more challenging for many people to accept and tolerate. In my work with individuals and couples, I have observed countless examples of people reacting angrily when loving responses were directed toward them. One man felt a flash… Read more »
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Clearly, some people are single because they choose to be. They are simply not interested in being in a serious relationship at this time in their life. Others are single due to the circumstances of their lives. They may have just gotten out of a meaningful relationship or have dated relentlessly and just haven’t found… Read more »
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It was the night of my 23rd birthday when the friendship I had come to call my “best” quickly dissipated. The night had spiraled out of control and I decided by the end of it that despite 10 years of friendship, we both needed to find happiness elsewhere. Losing such a longtime friend was one… Read more »
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Most people question, at one point or another, am I in a healthy relationship? Is my partner right for me? Is our fighting normal? Are we really happy together? The answer is unique to the relationship, but one thing is almost always universally true: every couple goes through tough times. Even the best of matches… Read more »
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