For many of us, not a day goes by where we aren’t affected by insecurity. In my last blog, I wrote about two primary sources of insecurity. Here, I will talk about an approach to challenging our negative self-concept by seeking inner security, bolstering self-compassion, and countering the “critical inner voice” that resides in all of us. Developing Inner… Read more »
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One of the biggest afflictions I see people struggle with is insecurity. This is in large part why I’ve dedicated much of my life to studying the self-critical thoughts or “critical inner voices” people experience. It’s probably no surprise to you that in decades of research, one of the most common self-attacks I’ve seen people… Read more »
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Receiving compliments may be one of the areas we all have room to stretch and grow! Whether compliments are from someone we know and love or a complete stranger, we can struggle to accept the kind words of others. However, this struggle goes deeper than manners or cultural norms, it shows that the recipient is… Read more »
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It’s now February and nearly two months into our New Year’s Resolutions for 2020. So how are you doing with yours? Do you know that, according to the American Psychological Association, 93% of people set resolutions at the first of the year? And did you also know that research shows that by February, 45% of those… Read more »
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We’ve all experienced those major shifts in our outlook that drag our mood in new directions. One minute, we’re in a groove at the office, believing in ourselves, and excited about the outcome of whatever we’re working on. The next minute we’re full of doubt, insecure, and ready to toss anything we come up with… Read more »
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New Year’s resolutions tend to get mixed reviews. Many people I ask about them roll their eyes, calling them “corny” or “unrealistic.” Others have a laundry list of items they want to “fix” about themselves come 2020. My feelings are somewhere in the middle. While I’m all for setting goals and seeking change that will… Read more »
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Why are we so stubborn about changing certain patterns? “What would you say is your biggest weakness?” This is probably the most dreaded question in a standard job interview, in large part because it’s one we aren’t really expected to answer honestly. Instead, we’re supposed to guise the weakness as a strength. “I’m a perfectionist.”… Read more »
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Each of us has a side of ourselves that is “on our team,” rooting for us as we move through life and encouraging us to take positive, goal-directed actions. However, we also have another side that is our biggest critic – our worst enemy – in pretty much every sense. A lot of people chalk… Read more »
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How your negative self-image puts you at odds with your lover. When we first fall in love, we have a positive response to feeling understood and valued by someone who matters to us. But eventually we can find ourselves faced with two opposing views of who we are: the familiar, albeit negative, view of ourselves… Read more »
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One of the most significant contributions of my theoretical approach, Separation Theory, is that it offers an understanding of the core dynamics underlying human aggression. It explains how people’s defensive nature and dependency on fantasy bonds polarize them against others with different customs and beliefs. In a similar vein, Schneider’s (2013) concept of “psychological polarization” describes the elevation of one… Read more »
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