To strive for greatness is not an unworthy goal, but the desire to be great can be a slippery slope. While all of us have a right to live our lives in pursuit of our dreams, the pressure we now put on ourselves to be special or great can lead to insecurity, narcissism and an actual… Read more »
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To a great extent, we live in a culture that resists and fears emotion. From the time we’re babies we’re taught to quickly shut off “negative” feelings like anger, sadness or pain. Yet, learning to suppress or overly control our emotions has serious consequences. When we avoid our feelings, we tune out important clues as… Read more »
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If you’re familiar with the psychological term “transference,” you probably associate it with a client in therapy transferring certain feelings onto their analyst. Yet, the meaning of transference is a bit broader and refers to a redirection of emotions, often that originate in childhood, onto someone in the present. As one article on MentalHelp.net put it, “Transference is… Read more »
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There is perhaps no more painful thought in the world than that of “nobody likes me.” It’s an easy feeling to indulge and dwell on, a terrible go-to self-attack in low moments when we feel isolated, depressed, anxious or insecure. This feeling has almost no bearing in reality and no purpose other than… Read more »
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What causes prejudice, religious wars, terrorism and genocide? In fact, what are the psychodynamics behind extremism, absolutism and all insidious forms of polarization? On some level, the answers all relate to human beings’ inherent fear of death and their need for psychological defenses to deny or ease the endemic pain of the human condition. The… Read more »
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“You were given life; it is your duty (and also your entitlement as a human being) to find something beautiful within life, no matter how slight.” ~Elizabeth Gilbert There is perhaps no better tool to live in the present and find joy than gratitude. Knowing what we appreciate in life means knowing who we are, what… Read more »
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Every one of us will experience loneliness in our lifetime. It may hit us when we’re single and spending Saturday night on our couch watching reruns or when we’re smack at the center of a packed and pulsating party. There is one clear reason for this, and that is that loneliness is not just being… Read more »
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“I think I want to be good.” A warm tear rolls down my cheek. My ten-year-old and I are watching the climactic scene of Descendants, a new movie from Disney Channel. The girl uttering this revelation is Mal, daughter of Maleficent. She is speaking to the boy who loves her. In this lighthearted movie, which… Read more »
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The greatest and most important adventure of our lives is discovering who we really are. Yet, so many of us walk around either not really knowing or listening to an awful inner critic that gives us all the wrong ideas about ourselves. We mistakenly think of self-understanding as self-indulgence, and we carry on without asking… Read more »
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“Confession is good for the soul in the sense that a tweed coat is good for dandruff—it is a palliative rather than a remedy.” ~Peter De Vries A few years back, I presented a workshop at the West Hollywood Book Festival called “Confessional Writing.” It was very well attended; in fact, by the time we… Read more »
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