We all want to be happy, undeniably. For some people happiness comes easier than others, but what we’re starting to understand is that happiness, that sense of connection and ease of appreciating the good moments and being more graceful and resilient during the difficult ones, is a skill and strength that we can all build…. Read more »
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When you get a wrong idea about who you are as a child, you can face a lifetime of trying to prove or disprove that identity. Neither extreme reflects who you really are. “I was the outgoing one in my family, not the beautiful one, not the smart one, and definitely not the talented one.” This statement… Read more »
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Discover the negative thoughts and attitudes at the core of a person’s maladaptation. The voice consists of a series of negative thoughts and attitudes toward oneself and others that is at the core of a person’s maladaptation. It can be conceptualized as the language of the defense system. The voice is not restricted to thoughts,… Read more »
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It’s important to think about the people you surround yourself with, both in person and online. I don’t mean the number of Facebook friends you have, but the people you have the most interactions with in-person or virtually. You can have a big or a small circle of people in your life, but the key question is, who of these people are actually… Read more »
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In a recent article, journalist Johann Hari wrote about the doubt some scientists feel about depression being caused by a “chemically imbalanced” brain. For most of his adult life, Hari had believed that his depression was the result of a biological condition. However, after doing his own investigation into the subject, which led to his… Read more »
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Should we contend with painful realities or avoid them? Although psychological defenses offer a degree of comfort and a form of security, they also predispose distortion and maladaptation in adult life. Yet varying degrees of defense formation are a virtual necessity for the developing child. All children experience a certain amount of emotional pain and… Read more »
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The chances are that you write every single day without even thinking about it. Whether you’re chatting with your friends and family through your smartphone, crafting emails to colleagues at work, or writing up some sort of letter to customers, writing is a huge part of our lives. However, have you ever considered how writing… Read more »
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This is the first in a series of blogs describing my theoretical approach known as Separation Theory. It represents an integration of psychoanalytic and existential systems of thought and describes how early interpersonal pain and separation anxiety and, later, death anxiety, lead to the formation of powerful psychological defenses. The primary defense is the fantasy… Read more »
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There’s no question in my mind that we all want to be happy. For some people happiness comes easier than others, but what we’re starting to understand is that happiness — that sense of connection and ease of appreciating the good moments and being more graceful and resilient during the difficult ones — is a… Read more »
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Why do some people develop an eating disorder like anorexia, bulimia, or compulsive overeating or binging? When we see someone refusing to eat or eating into obesity, the temptation is to criticize or correct them. “Just stop it! Can’t you see you’re hurting yourself?” But criticism is the last thing a person with an eating… Read more »
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