With people now having to “shelter in place,” couples are finding themselves spending an unusual amount of time together. In these circumstances of extended exposure to one another, problems can fester and begin to boil over, and issues between partners can become apparent. With this in mind, I am drawing from information and advice offered… Read more »
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These trying times are hard on us psychologically! With the focus on the very real threat of the Coronavirus to our physical health, it is easy to overlook the impact that this pandemic is having on our mental health. The virus and our necessary response to it are creating two of the emotional conditions that… Read more »
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It’s now February and nearly two months into our New Year’s Resolutions for 2020. So how are you doing with yours? Do you know that, according to the American Psychological Association, 93% of people set resolutions at the first of the year? And did you also know that research shows that by February, 45% of those… Read more »
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What’s the most important characteristic in a lifetime relationship partner? A recent study in the U.K. researched this question. At the University of Swansea, researchers enlisted 2,700 college students from five countries to progressively narrow down which characteristics were most important to them in a lifetime mate. And the one that emerged from all cultures… Read more »
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Joy’s smile is much closer to tears than it is to laughter. —Victor Hugo, Hernani We often retreat from love when it unconsciously arouses painful feelings of sadness. This is not the kind of sadness that comes when our feelings are hurt or our heart is broken. That sadness makes sense to us. This type… Read more »
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The Fantasy Bond Behind the Myth of the Soulmate I know people who say their ultimate relationship goal is finding a soulmate. They’re looking for a kindred spirit who they were meant to be with. Is this appealing to me? I can see how the idea that there might be another person out there who… Read more »
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This Mother’s Day was the 40th one that I have celebrated as a mother. And it has occurred to me that I have earned the right to answer the question: “What piece of advice would you offer about being a mother?” I used to think that only perfect mothers were qualified to speak on this… Read more »
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How your negative self-image puts you at odds with your lover. When we first fall in love, we have a positive response to feeling understood and valued by someone who matters to us. But eventually we can find ourselves faced with two opposing views of who we are: the familiar, albeit negative, view of ourselves… Read more »
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Psychotherapy is a luxury that you deserve. When I was in my early 20s, I went into psychotherapy. At that point in my life, I had tried all of the things that were supposed to bring me happiness—college, marriage, moving to a different city—and I was getting more and more miserable. I wasn’t a mental mess; I wasn’t seriously… Read more »
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It’s so easy to overlook the fact that love is more than a feeling, it is an action. Love isn’t just a noun; it’s a verb! The act of loving is more gratifying for both the lover and the beloved than the state of being in love. That state is passive. It easily dissolves into… Read more »
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