What is a fantasy bond? A “fantasy bond” describes an illusion of connection between a couple that is substituted for feelings of real love and intimacy. Forming a fantasy bond is an often unconscious act of self-parenting and self-protection, in which two people become pseudo-independent, replacing the real relating involved in being in love with the form of… Read more »
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There’s one sad truth in life I’ve found While journeying east and west – The only folks we really wound Are those we love the best. We flatter those we scarcely know, We please the fleeting guest, And deal full many a thoughtless blow, To those who love us best. This amusing little poem isn’t… Read more »
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The critical inner voice is an internal dialogue, a harsh and judgmental way of talking to ourselves. It is evident in those little everyday thoughts that flit through our consciousness: “You idiot, why did you say that? Now everyone will think you are stupid.” “You moron, you never should have taken this route in rush… Read more »
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“Why do I feel alone?” Human beings are instinctively social animals. It is natural for us to feel alone or lonely when we are isolated from others. As a tribal species, our brains adapted to rely on social connections as a means to survive. In fact, according to neuroscientist John Cacioppo, who has made a career out of studying loneliness, “The… Read more »
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To love (verb) The dictionary offers two separate definitions for the word love. One is of a noun and the other is of a verb. The dictionary has unwittingly pinpointed the problem that many of us have with love. Often we treat love as if it were only a noun: “an entity, quality, state, action,… Read more »
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“Why do I keep sabotaging my own success?” We have the opportunity to apply for our dream job, but we end up procrastinating and missing the deadline for submitting the application. Or we go to the interview, but our behavior is uncharacteristically subdued and unenthusiastic, and we “blow the interview.” Or we actually get… Read more »
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The sexual stereotyping of men and women has a profound impact on our society. From sex stereotypes about men in relationship to stereotypes of women’s sexuality, these prejudicial attitudes affect us all. Due to the advances made in recent years to establish equality between the sexes, society reflects fewer attitudes that support discrimination and inequality… Read more »
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“Turn down the lights, turn down the bed. Turn down these voices inside my head.” I Can’t Make You Love Me, Bonnie Raitt When we are sexually intimate — experiencing our loving feelings on both a physical and emotional level — we are making the closest contact possible with another person. It is during these… Read more »
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Many of us experience stress on a daily basis. Stress has taken so routine a space in life today that we’ve grown accustomed to rubbing our foreheads, medicating our headaches, casually bringing it up in conversation and then, at the end of each weekend, anticipating another week filled with it. Today, many of our lifestyles… Read more »
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What to do about temper tantrums and meltdowns: Dealing with a child who is having a temper tantrum or meltdown is challenging for even the most capable parents. Methods that are effective in dealing with the child’s natural expressions of anger or frustration don’t work in this intense emotional situation. At these times, parents find… Read more »
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