The relationship we have with our parents or primary caretakers is almost never black or white. Some of us may be more inclined to idealize our parents, while others may feel especially zoomed in on their shortcomings. Most of us are guilty of both. As adults, we’re often better able to see that our parents… Read more »
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Many people struggle with reconciling what they think they want with what they go about getting. What I mean by that is, they don’t fully understand how and why they get in their own way when it comes to their goals. To a certain degree, many of us don’t actually want what we say we… Read more »
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All of us have a longing to be the recipient of caring gestures and offerings that express thoughtfulness and sensitivity to what we need. However, many of us also experience a certain level of discomfort around receiving because, even as it may benefit us and be what we wish for, it also challenges us. Too… Read more »
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Most of the time, I write about the downsides of self-criticism – so much so that anyone familiar with my work would probably be puzzled by the title of this blog. For years, I’ve centered my research and practice on understanding and challenging a “critical inner voice” we all possess that is way too hard… Read more »
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If these past 18 months have forced us to evaluate anything, it’s the importance of connection. Be it through new technologies, outdoor activities, or the little pods we’ve packed into to stay safe, we’ve all had to find creative ways to make connection work in a world of social distancing. Nurturing our relationships is one… Read more »
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On any given day of our lives, our self-esteem is likely to hit plenty of peaks and valleys. One minute, we may feel confident and content, the next we may feel insecure and uneasy. As unsettling as this can be, it’s not uncommon. Our self-perception is often not based on what’s actually going on in… Read more »
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There is a common pattern to the way many people tell stories about their emotions, particularly emotions that come up in their relationships. It involves a passive perspective, a perpetual stance of being made to feel certain ways. “She made me feel like I was invisible.” “He was trying to embarrass me.” “Her nagging is… Read more »
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I recently read a famous short story by Amy Bloom about an adult woman at her mother’s funeral. The woman is reflecting upon her mother’s life, specifically her relationship with two men who loved her at the same time. The woman remembers confronting her mother about her feelings for the man who was not her… Read more »
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The reasons we act like our parents may not seem like a great mystery. Even setting aside our genetic connection, from the moment we open our eyes, we are absorbing our parents’ point of view and entire way of being in the world. This doesn’t doom us to a life of being boxed-up replicas of… Read more »
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Every relationship has its ups and downs. For many couples, these dips can occur on a daily basis. From morning to night, our interactions with our partner can range from loving and romantic to irritable and cynical. While it’s natural for our feelings to shift in response to different circumstances, it can be frustrating to… Read more »
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