Most parents who look into the eyes of their brand new baby see whatever lies ahead as a clean slate. Nothing turns our focus more toward the future than having a child. Yet, attachment research tells us that the biggest predictor of how we will be as parents is how much we’ve been able to… Read more »
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This year marked a major milestone for suicide prevention when the Golden Gate Bridge board of directors approved the first funding toward construction of a suicide barrier on the San Francisco landmark. Since its opening in 1937, the bridge has become the single most frequently used suicide spot in the United States and second most… Read more »
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Our tendency to avoid sadness is almost instinctive. From a very young age, we try to avoid sad feelings. As adults, we’re quick to shush wailing babies or offhandedly say to sobbing children, “Don’t be sad. Cheer up. You’re fine. Stop crying.” Though not intentional, we tend to pass on the message that sadness is… Read more »
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When it comes to our own happiness, many of us are familiar with the pattern of taking two steps forward, one step back. For example, if we want to lose weight, we may find that after having some success, which makes us happy, we drift up to a higher weight than we started at. If… Read more »
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For all the great things we say about being honest – that it’s the best policy or that the truth shall set us free – research tells us that we aren’t all that great at it. According to studies by Dr. Bella DePaulo, people lie in one in five of their interactions. These lies aren’t only to… Read more »
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What every couple should try before giving up on love The decline of a relationship is an awful thing to experience. More often than not, the process starts slowly, and we hardly notice little ways we may be pulling back or growing apart. Eventually, negative dynamics start to evolve, then persist for so long that… Read more »
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The other day, a friend of mine texted me a picture of a sign in a shop window that said, “If momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” She probably knew that with Mother’s Day around the corner, I’d most likely be writing something about motherhood and would get a kick out of the old expression…. Read more »
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There is nothing wrong with being single. In fact, one of the most important lessons someone can learn is that they can be a whole and happy person on their own. A failure to recognize this can drive people into relationships that don’t satisfy them or that even make them miserable. Moreover, when their decision… Read more »
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Like love, happiness is often treated like a physical object we must find and snatch up. Yet, also like love, happiness is something we are more likely to cultivate within ourselves than stumble upon in our wanderings. As the Dalai Lama said, “Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.” Determining… Read more »
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Years ago, when I was in the process of creating a violence assessment scale, I visited a series of high-security prisons to interview men found guilty of murder and other violent crimes. As I sat down with each inmate, the first question I always asked was, “How did you come to be a violent person?”… Read more »
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