If you’re familiar with the psychological term “transference,” you probably associate it with a client in therapy transferring certain feelings onto their analyst. Yet, the meaning of transference is a bit broader and refers to a redirection of emotions, often that originate in childhood, onto someone in the present. As one article on MentalHelp.net put it, “Transference is… Read more »
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Most people don’t naturally think they reject love, but the question really isn’t whether we do or not, it’s how much we do and why. I’ve talked a lot in previous blogs about the reasons so many of us are, to some degree, afraid of love, but here I’ll explain the ways this fear manifests in our… Read more »
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In my 30 years working with couples, I’ve noticed that most people have an easy time describing what they don’t want in their relationship. If prompted, they’re able to rapidly fire off the many issues that they feel are creating distance between them and their partner. Yet, if I ask the same people what they… Read more »
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“You were given life; it is your duty (and also your entitlement as a human being) to find something beautiful within life, no matter how slight.” ~Elizabeth Gilbert There is perhaps no better tool to live in the present and find joy than gratitude. Knowing what we appreciate in life means knowing who we are, what… Read more »
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Every one of us will experience loneliness in our lifetime. It may hit us when we’re single and spending Saturday night on our couch watching reruns or when we’re smack at the center of a packed and pulsating party. There is one clear reason for this, and that is that loneliness is not just being… Read more »
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Scientists who study forgiveness have long agreed that it is one of the most important contributors to a healthy relationship. Studies have shown that couples who practice forgiveness are more likely to enjoy longer, more satisfying romantic relationships. Research has even found that people who practice unconditional forgiveness are more likely to enjoy longer lives. Forgiveness is such… Read more »
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Like it or not, our childhood has a lot to do with how we parent. In fact, attachment research has shown that our attachment style with our own parents is the biggest predictor of the attachment style we’ll have with our child. Attachment style refers to the internal “working models” we develop of how relationships function…. Read more »
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“She isn’t attracted to me anymore. She never acts as excited to see me when I come home. Why can’t it just be like it was in the beginning?” My friend has just entered into the first of two common phases of relationship insecurity: rhetorical questioning. The internal investigation continues with, “She takes forever to… Read more »
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By Dr. Lisa Firestone and Joyce Catlett Raising children can be one of the most challenging jobs in life; it certainly is one of the most important. Renowned British pediatrician/ psychoanalyst, Donald Winnicott once told a group of parents: “You are engaged in founding the mental health of the next generation.” Although, as parents,… Read more »
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Most parents who look into the eyes of their brand new baby see whatever lies ahead as a clean slate. Nothing turns our focus more toward the future than having a child. Yet, attachment research tells us that the biggest predictor of how we will be as parents is how much we’ve been able to… Read more »
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